


What a Crazy Concept

by Just_Pure_Chaos



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders has Depression, Best Friends Ex Friends to the End Better Off as Lovers, Deceit | Janus Sanders Encourages Self-Care, Depression, Eventual Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Eventual Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Eventual Happy Ending, Friends to Enemies to Lovers, How Do I Tag, I Just Haven't Written It Yet, M/M, Slow Burn, also i fucked with how time works, and my retelling of accepting anxiety is a little altered from canon, but only kinda slow im not that patient, hence bang the doldrums, if i ever get that far, ive never actually written fanfic before be nice, kind of, love poetry?, more like, some of it's really deep but some is just random bullshit, you have to guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:20:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29578785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_Pure_Chaos/pseuds/Just_Pure_Chaos
Summary: Janus and Virgil are in love but won't admit it to themselvesThis is my first time writing fanfic please be nice
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Kudos: 21





	1. What the fuck is love anyway

Virgil sighed and flopped down on his bed, life was exhausting. In the past month, he'd gone from assuming Janus never wanted to speak to him again to thinking Janus wanted to ruin his life, to thinking Janus might be in love with him. No, that's crazy, maybe it's just a dramatic plot to get revenge. What if Virgil was just being self-centered and jumping to conclusions and Janus didn't even care? Oh god, he's convinced himself Janus is in love with him, he's probably becoming an egotistical asshole who thinks he's the greatest. Fuck he's a terrible person.  
Okay maybe he was overreacting a little, Janus probably just has a little crush on him. Fuck what if it's because they went a while without talking and Janus started romanticizing what Virgil was like and he's actually completely wrong and Virgil is terrible. Or maybe 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' doesn't automatically mean you're an awful person. The evil plan to hurt Virgil's theory still stands, so does the one where Janus doesn't care.  
Alright, he's had enough thinking for today. Virgil puts on his headphones and starts playing music loud enough to kill his eardrums and drown out his thoughts, hopefully. 

Fuck, what if Virgil's in love with Janus?  
He turns the volume up higher.

~~~

Janus pours himself a glass of wine and sets quiet music playing in the background, glad Remus was off bothering someone else so he could get a moment of privacy. He almost thought to check in on Virgil but remembered his room was upstairs now. He absentmindedly wondered if any of the others went to check on him when he didn't leave his room for long periods of time. He hoped so.  
Janus didn't like the idea of falling in love, it was all so vulnerable and painfully honest, but more than anything it was terrifying. There was something nice about the drama of it all, the power it held. It could destroy someone, but it could also well- exist. Wasn't its existence beautiful enough to compensate for its danger? Maybe, but it should be a calculated risk shouldn't it? If a love is doomed to fail it shouldn't exist.  
Janus finished his wine, pushing away the thoughts that were far too deep for seven pm. Janus had never been in love. Sure he liked to flirt and there were some people he kinda sorta cared about. But love is an exaggeration. He just knew Virgil really well and would rather he be happy than sad. Not that this train of thought had anything to do with Virgil, of course.

Janus debated texting Virgil to check in on him but decided not to in a desperate attempt to convince himself he didn't care.  
Virgil had hurt him after all. Janus should hate him, he did hate him.  
He just needed to make sure he was okay anyway.

Janus ended up texting him.


	2. Self care is very important

Virgil was forcing himself not to think about Janus as Bang The Doldrums played when he got Janus' text.  
He froze for a second before fighting back a smile, trying to force himself back into reality where Janus definitely had some motive here. He had to, he couldn't possibly care about Virgil after the shit Virgil put him through.   
Virgil responded anyway, promising Janus he'd drink water, eat food, but refusing to talk to people or shower because that would require turning off his music. Janus threatened to send Remus after him, which he knew was an empty threat because Remus was with Patton. Still, Virgil agreed to shower later but still not talk to people.

~~~

Virgil didn't notice Janus enter the kitchen due to him still wearing his headphones as he cooked himself instant ramen. When he eventually did notice him he startled and dropped his glass of water.  
"Jesus christ how long have you been standing there"  
Janus glanced up from his phone "A few minutes, I didn't mean to scare you"  
"Well, you certainly didn't succeed in not scaring me, here help me clean up this glass" Janus leaned down and help him clean up the broken glass, grabbing him a plastic one from the cabinet and filling it with water.  
"Thanks, what're you doing here anyway?" Virgil took the plastic cup and moved to check on his ramen  
"Making sure you interact with a human today"   
"Are you sure that's a necessary part of self-care? 'cause it sucks and I'd rather not do it"  
Janus sighed fondly "We talked about this Vee, regular socialization helps to lessen your social anxiety"  
"Well the social anxiety wouldn't matter if I never had to talk to people" Virgil smirked  
"Virgil I will not let you isolate yourself"  
Virgil poured his ramen into a bowl "I know, I know. Hey, do you even count as human interaction since your part snake?"  
Janus laughed "I'm pretty sure I still count, I am mostly human"  
"Hmm, I'll let it slide since you're relatively tolerable"  
"Wow, quite the flatterer"  
Virgil laughs "Well, unlike most people you don't drain me of all my energy"  
Janus smiled "I wasn't aware you had energy in the first place"  
"Only when I've had coffee" Virgil sat on the counter and ate his ramen  
"Of course" Janus poured himself a glass of water  
They both heard a loud uproar of laughter come from Patton's room, where Patton and Remus had been for hours  
Janus sipped his water "What'd you think they're doing?"  
"I think they're just talking, that's a long time to tolerate Remus though"  
Janus laughed "I think it's a record"  
"Probably, when do you think they'll start dating?"  
"I'll bet you ten dollars they'll be together by the time they leave that room"  
Virgil thought it over "Alright, I'll take that bet"  
Janus smiled "I'm still surprised they get along so well"  
"I guess opposites attract and stuff"  
"I dunno, I feel like relationships are better when you have things in common"  
Virgil shrugged "I think they do have things in common, just opposite vibes"  
Janus nods "That makes sense, relationships are weird"  
"They certainly are"  
Virgil finishes his ramen "Alright I'm gonna go take a shower. It was nice talking to you, considering it was human interaction and all" Virgil smiles and leaves to go shower  
Janus smiles and stands there for a second, letting himself enjoy feeling warm and content, before walking back downstairs to his room.


	3. Sleep is an Unrealistic Expectation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So basically when Virgil ducked out in accepting anxiety he didn't expect the light sides to go looking for him and he never planned on becoming one of them. Janus doesn't even know he tried to duck out and thinks he just left. (this is mostly the same as canon just my theories/headcanons  
> (also this was kind of a vent lol)

Janus had decided to go to bed now while he still didn't have to deal with Remus, but found himself struggling to fall asleep. Deep inside he knew he loved Virgil, he probably always had, but he was nowhere close to admitting it. He remembered how he should hate Virgil. He'd abandoned him, he'd abandoned Remus. He wondered why, had he done anything wrong? Sure the 'light sides' were nice, but their acceptance wasn't worth leaving your friends. Virgil had gone from being away half the time to not talking to Janus entirely. Sure, it was better now, they talked sometimes, but it wasn't as much as before. Janus should have been there for him, he should've reached out more and been there for him. He should've said that it bothered him how often Virgil was away. He'd lost Virgil and their friendship would never be the same. Janus wasn't sure when he'd started crying, nor could he remember the last time he cried. When Virgil left all he'd felt was numbness. His mind hadn't felt clear since the day Virgil had first introduced himself to the others. Janus had encouraged him to go. He wanted to hate himself for that. He did hate himself for not asking Virgil what was wrong when his depression had worsened. Sure he'd been there for him but he should've found out what was going on. Janus just wanted everything to go back to how it was before Virgil left.   
He wanted so badly to hate him, but he couldn't.

~~~

Virgil glanced at his clock and groaned when he saw it was four am. He had intended to go to bed at a slightly more reasonable hour so he could be somewhat functional tomorrow. But no, he'd be miserable and the day would be too short and he wouldn't get anything done and it would be awful. He should sleep now, at least try and salvage his day. What did it matter anyway, his day would suck either way.  
He did end up falling asleep by five am.


End file.
